Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Nut Case Corner Pocket

Mood music: "To Be Human" by Sia (ft. Labrinth)

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Let's see if I can't bring this dusty blog back up to speed.

I moved back to Georgia last week. Transferred to a new store in Atlanta while shacking up temporarily with my sister and her boyfriend. Brought a cat back with me, raising the personal deadline I have for myself with finding a living space of my own. Two cats of my own, along with the three dogs my sister has adds to a packed house, especially since they require smelly, messy litter-boxes.

Today was actually rather nice; only one grumpy customer who didn't like me asking for ID with an alcoholic purchase. Got at least five coworkers vying for my promotion to head cashier, which, aside from being a huge Yes Please moment money-wise is a nice ego-boost on its own. Got props for coming to work despite tropical storm weather. That's a sweet little nugget, too.

I feel pretty confident in my ability to move on to that position. I like my manager, but also feel like I'm about on par with her and so I should be closer to it. Another head-cashier told me I was reliable and I get along pretty well with everyone while also coming off as competent and flexible.

'Wow, Nova,' you might be thinking. 'Sounds great. How many arms do you need to keep patting your back for all these minimal human achievements?' Well hypothetical and tart-toned critic/reader of this desolate webspace, you have been duped. This is actually a clever ruse set up to cover an insidiously hacking brain-sphere, wheezing on the track of mental health and stability for this sad set of rails called life.

In lame-man's terms, I'm struggling to stay happy with these seemingly great developments. I'm excited for my future, I have hope, and I'm even daring to associate with dreaming big again. Yet, borderline personality, depression, anxiety, and my deadening need to be liked and at the very least admired by peers and superiors alike has me like: "Now what."

Put it on an endless loop, randomize the medication that helps me stay mindful and less susceptible to Bad Thoughts Central, and throw in some Mid-Mid Life Crisis over Wayward Life Plans for a fun adventure that's as temporal as it is mundane in subject.

But yeah. That's just it for a Tuesday.

Not bad, right?